the kind of Magic, people write books about.
& just like that we meet again.
As I haven’t had time to write believe me when I say I have totally thought about it, but haven’t been able to find a few minutes to actually sit down and devote to it, which is frustrating in itself, but things have been so crazy these last two weeks They have honestly blown right past me before I even knew they were gone, & that brings us to Today, which happens to be a Thursday but I spent all day thinking it was Tuesday, so for all of my followers…..all 5 of you, I fully intend to go back to my weekly post…fingers crossed.
SO, fun times these last two weeks have been, let me catch you up, and make some introductions, I have a fiancé named Ryan & he’s literally the most kind & charming person it the world, it’s irritating. But that is another story. We are set to get married the second week in October this year which if you’re counting not that I am that is in exactly 164 days….again, not that I am counting. Just like any young couple, well Mid & late twenties we have dreams, dreams that are wild & But this past week we stumbled upon the chance to own our home! OUR OWN HOME! what?! one of our biggest dreams! how did that even happen? it was magic, pure magic. I asked our landlord how to start the process of trying to buy a house “but it won’t be anytime soon, we just want to know how we could start it, don’t worry we aren’t trying to break our lease” is basically how the conversation started, I’m awkward I know, I get it. But it was a conversation starter, and she basically sent me bullet points of what we would need to know, but assured me “I wil help you, the entire way, here’s the phone number of the mortgage company I work closely with she can help give you a price range of where you can start looking” long story short this was on a Friday, and on Tuesday….FOUR days later we were signing a contract on a house, the house I fell in love with the second we pulled up, the little navy house surrounded by tress & still not completely finished, as soon as i saw it I just KNEW it was were I wanted to start our life, and that I wanted it to be the threshold we would walk through as MR. & Mrs. Jay. and where we could raise our babies, and the house we could be “Jay Crew” in. And let me say that is a big thing to “know” before the car was even in park. But just as it ended up working out, that was THE house we decided we wanted to start this new chapters of our lives in.
It was Magic, Magic in its most purest form, which is also a way I describe Ryan, and our little life that we have both come to love so much. and even when it has been hard it’s still been magic. it’s been a short two years, but I am now a big believer in the phrase “when you know, you just know” but in these two years, I have seen him in every way, people say you should see someone before you marry them.
- When the Christmas lights get tangled.
- When they are mad.
- Can’t find their wallet
- Running late
- & Drunk.
and let me tell you, some of them aren’t very pretty, (the Christmas lights!) But what I can honestly say is that I understand his hurt as my own, and it didn’t scare me or make me want to run which is a normal reaction of mine in the year he has lost two people that held an incredibly special place in his heart, His sister first…..in the middle of our Vacation and that was the first time I watched his entire heart break in a 4 minute phone conversation, “Son are you there” “….yeah i’m here, i am actually….. in Florida but i’ll be there soon” and a 12 hour car ride that was so much fun on the way there, to one on the way home that felt more like 18 hours, and it rained through 2 full states…..but my point is that even in his worst moments, our life is still magic. Even though our trip ended so sadly and I met a lot of his family on of the hardest times they had felt, and then again a few months later when his grandma passed. Then the time where he was overflowing in pride, from the time he finally finished a course he had been working so hard on when he got the certificate he brought it home hid it behind his back and showed me! that was such a fun moment, to those rare times, he is angry and it doesn’t matter what I say it probably won’t make it better. But Even in the hardest of time, he never lost his cool raised a voice and never let me see him sweat and as you have probably gained from my previous posts something that I can never quite do as well as he can Even in those moment where I knew all I could do is stand there quietly next to him and hold his hand, or laugh excitedly tell him how proud I was of him for working so hard to make a 98 on his test in all those not so great times it was still magic, still the purest magic I had ever felt in my life. Ryan was the most wonderful surprise, but when I met him It was weird because I had mostly forgotten that surprises can be more than broken hearts and unexpected slowly spoken words after a seemingly normal day.
Ryan and I live such a sweet little life, as sometimes frustrating as it is, we have Big love in a small town, and what most people dream of. And as obnoxious as I can be about it sometimes, I wouldn’t change any part of our life for a second. Even when he’s calling the tangled Christmas lights ugly names, or explaining to me in his most frustrated but not yelling tone 😉 that he doesn’t understand how to boil rice, to the times that he has had one too many and making up his own songs to Christmas Carol beats or when he is telling someone how he has never been as sure about anything in his life as he is about me, I love him when he is freaking out trying to find his wallet, and as calmly as he can say saying “Rachel, stop. I can’t find my wallet…ok?” even though he has walked right by it 3 times. He’s just about as steady as a rock and me about as steady as a stuffed push up bra. I am not sure where I wanted this blog to go, but I decided I would just write what was on my heart and for days it has been “Magic, you are magic” and Ryan Is Magic the way he calmly handled all the tiny details of the house and not showing me he’s the least bit stressed about it, which I think he actually isn’t.But if he were I’d never know it. He comes home every SINGLE day with a story, that immediately puts me in a good mood because it is so random and funny. You make my shows a ritual and patiently watch them with me, even if he isn’t interested. He make my life less scary, and the world we live in less scary, He has a friend in every soul he meets. I guess my heart these last few weeks has been overly grateful for Ryan, and i guess this would be your classic appreciation post, but this quickly went from a recap of my last two weeks some jumbled chaos of how special my fiancé is, and the layout of this post is basically the way he makes me feel all of the time….jumbled, excited, and all over the place, but i wouldn’t change a second of it. Ever. Ryan if you ever happen to stumble upon this, don’t ever forget you are the most care free person I have ever met, even at you’re worst moments, don’t ever change.
Magic exists, if you choose to find it.